Tuesday, April 29, 2014

A Policy Change

Why hello there.

As some of you make or may not care to know, I just got back from helping Alex put down Redlight.

And that really fucking sucked. Between the headaches, the choke slams, fighting a supernatural house, and the near apocalypse we had to avert, the whole thing was a horrible shit storms of events and situations that both myself and the world might have been better off without.

And when I really stopped to think about it once I was finally home, it occurred to me that Redlight was a product of the Bureaucracy. Its been an entire year and half and we're still dealing with the fallout and depraved products the Bureau created when it came and went.

A full YEAR AND A HALF. That's fucking insane.

And yet, without them we find ourselves in a particularly difficult situation.

Many proxies fell when the Bureau did. A lot of them died. Those who didn't were forced to adopt to humbler and less protected life styles with nothing to protect them from the authorities and no one means of paying the bill.

And while we are not without standing remnants of organization, on the whole most proxies now operate in small intimate cells assuming they aren't entirely self dependent.

And I have done what I can to support these cells and independents find supplies, weapons, part time jobs, bases, and have even gone so far as to reward work done for Father with monetary compensation.

But I have not been able to do for these people what the Bureau did. I have not been able to keep them safe.

Without the overbearing hand of the Bureau to keep them in check, Father's Siblings [the other Fears] and our cousins [the servants of the other Fears] have been expanding at an extremely alarming rate.

I believe we've seen so little of the Fears because they are violently at each others throats. With Father's dominance crush and with Father himself now on his back tendril, every territorial fear is making a power grab.

And as the people of the dethroned king, we are  assholes ever other asshole is gunning for. And where the servants of other fears have a documented history of general cooperation, proxies have always been heavily divided.

I reformed the Fire Cult as a specialized task force to try to deal with this unprecedented aggression but we are not seeing the results we were hoping for. In fact, it would seem things have gotten worse. The situation have evolved in ways I could have never imagined.

The other Fears and their servants aren't just hunting proxies anymore. They've taken to hunting OUR runners justifying the maneuver as an attack against the 'Future Proxy Pool'.

This can not go on. We need a change.

No can no longer allow degenerates pretending to know Father's will reign over us, nor can we ourselves go on with the delusion that Father's will is a thing that can be known.

Its time to go back to the basics. There has always been one absolute truth when it comes to Father. One single truth that has never changed over the course of his documentation.

Father hunts runners.

And it is with that basis that the Free Market will be moving forward. No longer will it be the job of the proxy to put down the runner for this was never really ours to do. We our not his reapers. Our job as the proud selected that Father has seen fit to tolerate and spare should be to keep runners safe until Father himself is done hunting, killing, or sparing them.

I am calling for closure on the great rift that separates runners and proxies for both are brothers under Father, one simply has not met his judgement yet and it will be our task to see that judgement be it life or death finds them.

And in light of this, psychopaths and degenerates that displayed incredibly aggression to our newly claimed brothers will not be tolerated. Monsters like the Morningstar and Arkady WILL be put down.

...That said there will be some tolerance for justified personal vendettas a single person or persons. I am still very much going to kill Sloth, Picasso, and Moth...

I know not every proxy is going to agree to this. In fact, I suspect most won't. I actually anticipate we're going to lose a lot of the cells and independents that currently associate themselves with the Free Market over this. And other standing orders like the Order of Oracles may try to rain fire on us for this.

But know this. Any threat to our runners, the runners we claim or who we approve for protection under the Free Market, that isn't tall and faceless will be neutralized. Be that threat the servant of another Fear, one of Father's proxies, or fucking Fear itself.

For these people are our brothers and we are their guardians.

-The Lord Guardian Fracture

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Dani the Girl is...?

I think that's the right song. I'm looking at the last three entry titles and they seem to be the lyrics from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song.

No wait... my Ginger is informing me that those are lyrics from the song hes being making Jack listen too.

Guess that makes sense... sort of. Not sure why he would do that after he spent all that time bitching being forced to listen to music. Maybe its stuck in his head or something? Suppose that could also make sense.

I should introduce my Ginger.

Meet Jaivannelloxisomianthei'untimnyscious (Shorted for your benefit) O'Donnel

Sup. Just call me Ivan. Letters 3 through 6 of my name. Its easier that way.

Care to explain to people why the fuck your name is so messed up.

My Dad was a proxy. He had this weird ritual where he would add a letter to his name ever time he killed someone. Apparently until I was old enough to speak, he gave those letter me to and made that my legal name... somehow. Pretty sure they aren't supposed to let you do that but then again the Bureaucracy was a thing back then. He probably greased some palms or something.

Same man that kept you locked in basement and dumped you in the woods for a week to fend for yourself to prove your strength?

Yep... thanks for sharing that... asshole. I just gonna remove all that.

I'm just gonna put it back in when you leave the room.

Fuck you fuck face.

I missed you too.

So yeah. I've actually been back for a little while. Been taking a nice little mini vacation in my closet to get away from the world and catch up on my reading. 

I mean, I just helped save the world and shit... or 'a world' I guess. Regardless, I'd definitely earned my sabbatical. 

And along came Jack, the whiny and terrible.

Yep. Your pupil. I can't help but feel that you have to shoulder some of the blame there.

I abso-fucking-lutely disagree.

By the powers vested in me by my lord guardianness-

Your self proclaimed title.

... Yeah. I declare you overruled. Its your fault.


So much class you can kiss my ass.

So yeah. Jack spoiled that. Not only did he tell Devil and Fire I was back, and they made me get back to work, but he fucking announced it to the world that I was available again and now I have to go do things.

You're such a whiny fucking slacker.

I'll take no sass from schzo.

The hello you won't.

The hell I won't what?

You said... uh...


Fuck you.

So right. Back. Should explain what Jack did after his last post and wrap this train wreck of an introduction up.

Apparently, following him using me as an distraction by announcing my return to the rest of the compound, he went and stole your iPod. 


And then he had a mask open up a path door in front of where Maggot had dumped all his stuff in the path and threw the iPod in blaring 'Never Gonna give you up'.

A beautiful classic.

So while the denizen that had been sleeping on his stuff was busy being Rick Rolled and was out desperately trying to find and destroy your iPod, little jack grabbed all his shit and returned to the compound and had the path door sealed behind him.


How do we know all this?

The little dumbass was bragging about it.

Hahahaha. Classic Jack.

Said the guy who has't been her to hand out with Jack for the last month.

Fuck you.

So to punish Jack for destroying my shit we've locked him in a room with 'Never Gonna give you up' playing over and over again and with Maggot in there to beat on him.


But well deserved.

Don't think you might be power tripping on this mentor things? No repressed Daddy issues coming out.

This is fucking over. Later fuck face, I have a ten year old to torture.

... Well okay then. Guess this is as good a way to announce my return as any.

I'm back. 

Lord Guardian Fracture out.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Is singing songs to me

Hello! I did a thing!

That's right, this is Jack. That makes this...

A Jack Attack!

More exclamation marks!!!!!


I'm gonna be honest. Couldn't help myself. I started with three lines, and then I did three more lines, and then I did three more lines that sounded terrible.

So I went back and reread the first two lines to figure out why those sounded so much better than my thirds set and realized they adhered to a syllable limit where my third set did not. So I rewrote the third set on to obey that limit. I probably spent like... a solid hour on that.

Kind of couldn't help myself. Started the commented not thinking about it and then I felt strangely compelled. The whole little exercise felt very familiar. And then Fracture accused my music lessons of being the cause. Which was weird. I wrote it because writing it was the right thing to do. Needed to be done.

But I could see where you might think music would inspire acts of annoyance. Music is annoying noise to a half assed beat where some asshole incessantly repeats words at you in desperate hope that those words might lodge themselves and your ear and brainwash you into thinking they're catchy.

In fact, I hear there is a Fear who likes to fuck with what you hear.

Ryhming aside, Fracture's accusation gave me an idea. To reiterate, music is annoying noise and I have a hunch that denizens hate music even more than I do....

Post note!
              ^Necessary Exclamation mark

I found Fracture.

I was gathering supplies for my ingenious plan to get my shit back from that disgusting fucking filth dimension of ask and leaves and the denizen I am assuming is still fucking sleeping on all my crap when I went riffling for blankets in the closet.

First oddity. There was a pillow fort in the closet with a blanket roof.

Kicking it down, I had assumed it was Maggot's, I discovered a startled Fuck Face (Fracture) sitting there reading a book with a flashlight with a plugged in laptop in the corner.

He tried to get me to keep it quiet insisting he was on a well earned 'sabbatical'.

I went running down the hall yelling "Fractures Home! Fractures Home!" He chased me down cursing.

Some mute cat and mouse shit. He tackled me as Ms. Devil and Ms. Fire came out tapping their toes. They pulled him off my by his ears off to his office.

Fuck you fuck face!

.... Hindsight... I probably should have just offered to stay quiet in-exchange for him helping my get my shit back.... I've been told I've been written out of the will. Maggot now goes a wide selection of other people who would all have to be dead before I can inherit the asshole.

Fucking bullshit.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Beneath the Marquee

Howdy there! Its Jack.

And this is, another Jack Attack!

So, Fracture isn't back yet. Which is odd. I thought he would be when he started commenting again.

Apparently Ivan, my ginger fuck-tarded song happy fighting instructor, got a call from him informing the compound that he was 'On his way back'. Apparently hes lost in, and I'm quoting here, 'Metaphysics' somewhere across the 'Unspace' but within our 'Spectrum of Undeniable Plausability.'

So if I understand correctly Fracture is within a college tier school of study, in not space, and in definitive uncertainty.

Does that make any fucking sense to anyone else? I'm stumped. I'm pretty sure that's senseless gibberish and hes lost out in Antarctica or something. Hes probably gonna die. Then Maggot will be mine.

Then I will skin him... slowly, hehehe.

He'll damn well deserve it. I came into my room today to find all of my stuff missing. Clothes, books, shoes, weapons, everything.

When I confronted Maggot about it, he opened up a Path door to (redundancy I know) the path to show me a big ass pile off all my stuff slowly collecting ash and feathers with one of those Things sleeping on it. One of those disgusting fucking mutants.

Think I've seen them referred to as 'Denizens'.

I covered my mouth. Once Maggot had closed the door I fucking vomited. That thing was particularly grotesque. The thought of it /touching/ all of my things ... gah, making me gag now just revisiting the thought.

I think I was about to start running and screaming at Maggot but he drop kicked me. That fucker.

I asked everyone in the compound to help me get my stuff back but I have been repeated reminded that 'You really should learn to handle your own business if you instant to keep talking and treating people like the little shithead you are.'

Unbelievably fucking useless, all of them. I will fucking kill all of them

Sunday, April 6, 2014



So. This last week has been hell.

I thought Maggot was bad but I've actually started 'Proper' training now and that somehow sucks even harder.

My instructor is a fucking twit. Like, a real twit. Oh my god the twittiness. He has ALL the twittiness. Fucking ginger.

He never shuts up. Hes always making some sort of noise, singing or humming. Sometimes he'll just start randomly fucking clapping.

Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap.

Its fucking annoying.

Training sessions consist of him and Maggot beating on me while he rags on me about how bad my sing is and how tone deaf I am. Oh, did I forget to mention he's worked singing in as mandatory for my curriculum in 'Killing 101'?

Yeah. Apparently its a must. Which makes no fucking sense.

I asked him, "Why doesn't maggot have to fucking sing."

He just slapped me. Informed me that "Mutes can't sing." And that I should "Ask less stupid questions."

This is absolute fucking bullshit

The only lull I've earned myself over the course of this last week was Fracture's preset 'will'.

Apparently Fracture has one of those. A little notice set to be sent to the higher ups in the compound if Fracture is away from his computer for too long informing said higher ups of how to operate and who inherits what in the event of Fracture's death.

Apparently, if Fracture dies, I inherit Maggot. Maggot gets to be my bitch! I... may very well kill Fracture at some point so I can make Maggot lay down and let me skin him alive.

But apparently some complicated stuff is supposed to go down when Fracture dies. Something complicated even further due to the current state of affairs. I can't say why, but needless to say its messy.

Ms. Devil decided we'd wait for proof of Fracture's death before we started enforcing the will just in case.

And quite unfortunately, Fuck Face still lives.

So... in the meantime more classes, beatings, and more harassment from that insufferable asshole.

But mark my words Maggot, one day Fracture will be gone and I'll crush you under my heel!